The approach of Autumn each year brings with it a time of reflection for me. Some folks say they get tuned in with springtime and new growth. I like the Fall though. Trees turning into rainbows of greens, reds, oranges, and yellows. Crisp cool mornings with the warmth of the day coming in late afternoon. I like how the season eases into what will become the cold of winter. I enjoy how the crispness of the air during this season wakes me up.

I recently returned from a week away from home. I came back feeling crabby, ill-at-ease, and "stuck." I spent a few days feeling as if my being stuck was about not knowing what to write here. It was during one of my daily rides, on a cool sunny day, that I was hit with the more accurate perception that I was feeling stuck in my daily life and that is what caused my mental blank.

How thankful and grateful I am that I can get outdoors and exercise. Physical movement always helps me get my mind back on track and often brings clarity of perception and thought. These days riding my bike is the exercise, occasionally it is my aikido training, once upon it was running. Regardless of the form of movement, I know that it helps me be healthy and strong. It gives a chance for reflection and a pause from the busy-ness that comes with being wife, mother, individual.

A Bit of History

I guess the best place to start is with a bit of history.

My eldest son was born nearly 16 years ago. At that time, I was working full time and scrambling to make ends meet. I worked for a while and then decided to go to graduate school. I worked throughout grad school too. Always working outside of the home, always doing work I enjoyed. All in all, I was one very busy gal. I both loved and hated it. It felt great to be in the career world but I missed the opportunity to be home with my son. And he really could have benefited from my being home. He has always been a wonderful child with a great sensitivity and wonder at the beauty of the world. He also has some pretty severe learning issues that impact his life every day.

Now I know I am leaving out much detail but let's just fast forward to Winter 2005. We (my husband and I) found out we were going to have a baby. How exciting, how terrifying. Just like the first time around for me when I learned I was pregnant...excited and terrified. The issues this time around were different of course; 14 years of experience as a parent (both single and married) provides great perspective and nuance to one's world view.

The issues of 16 years ago - generating income, being a mom, raising a child, creating/maintaining a career - were not quite the issues for child number 2. With this pregnancy I was able to think about what is important to me and my family. Driving 1 1/2 to 2 hours one way for work and then working a 9-10 hour day before returning home exhausted lost all its appeal. How could I do such a thing to my not-yet-born child? We couldn't. Once he was born I just never returned to work.

Perhaps I should list a few of the things on the "Important to Me and My Family" list:

• Good health
• Lifestyle inclusive of physical activity...aikido, bicycling, running, hiking trips, etc.
• Positive relationship with my husband
• Positive relationship with my children
• Time to spend with my family
• Mindfulness

My list is more extensive but I believe these hit the main points. Others are items that can probably fit into the above. I can honestly say that it takes ongoing work to hit these 6 points in day-to-day living. How easy it is to become distracted by the Worries - money; my eldest son's academic/emotional/social functioning; the little one's current defiance as he strives for independence (our little wild child); the time my husband spends working to support us.

Thankfully, perspective helps turn Worries into Workable. I can usually, with a bit of self talk or a bike ride or watching the antics of my sons or a check-in with my husband, wrap those concerns into a smaller manageable package.

Okay, what's next? I'm not too sure yet but I bet it will be something to do with those 6 points. Or with bicycles. Did I mention I really like bikes?